AUDIO: Underdog Chooses Between Dining With Howard or a COVID-19 Carrier in a Birthday Edition of ‘Would You Rather?’

“The minute you go, ‘I need an answer’ … it’s like 9/11 for her,” staffer Shuli Egar explains

August 17, 2020
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

On Monday, Howard revealed Shuli Egar recently caught up with the one and only Suzanne “Underdog” Muldowney. It was on the eve of her birthday, and the Stern Show staffer was curious how the renowned Arby’s lover and self-made costume enthusiast planned to celebrate.

“I thought I was going to be in a parade that always takes place in Ocean City on the second Thursday in August, but I haven’t been in one event since New Year’s Day,” Underdog told Shuli with a sigh. “It’s heartbreaking.”

Heartbreaking though that was, Shuli invited her to celebrate with him in a different way—by playing “Would You Rather?”

“The premise of the game was very simple,” Howard told listeners Monday morning “Would she rather dine with me, her sworn enemy, or some horrible alternative?”

But with Underdog nothing was as simple as it seemed.

Shuli first asked whether she’d rather dine with Howard or someone infected with the coronavirus.

“Ahh! I wouldn’t go with either of them,” Underdog said. “Even if I wore the mask and was dining with someone who had the virus, the risk is still too great of my catching the virus.”

“Howard or Charles Manson?” Shuli asked next.

“Ahh! Neither one of them because Manson died, uh, two-and-a-half years ago,” she said.

Stern Show co-host Robin Quivers was annoyed by Shuli’s inability to get a straight answer. “Come on, Shuli. You’re not holding her to this—she’s gotta pick one!” she said.

In the next question, Shuli asked Underdog to choose between Howard and a rabid possum.

“Neither one,” Underdog said. “I don’t know if there’s any preventable vaccine against rabies for people, and the animal might bite me.”

“That’s another good point,” Shuli responded.

This time Howard grew frustrated. “Did you explain to her that the whole point of this is that these are two bad options, but you have to pick one?” he asked. “Whenever I play it with Robin, she always picks one.”

To prove his point, Robin told Howard without hesitation she’d rather sleep with O.J. Simpson over Lenny Dykstra.

But Shuli insisted Underdog couldn’t be strong-armed into answering. “The minute you go, ‘I need an answer’ … it’s like 9/11 for her,” he said at one point.

Speaking of 9/11, Shuli next asked her to pick between dining with Howard or the notorious terrorist Osama bin Laden.

“What, what, what, what?” Underdog responded, hoping she’d heard the question incorrectly. “Neither one.”

Shuli moved on to the final question: “Howard or Satan?” he asked.

“Oh,” she sighed. “Neither one.”

While Howard and Robin were disappointed she once again refused to answer, the Stern Show staffer told Underdog she’d done great.

“I have to end the call on a giggle, Robin,” Shuli explained. “I gotta end calls on good vibes with her.”