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AUDIO: Howard Thanks ‘St. Anthony’ for Finding a Lost Kitten
AUDIO: Howard Thanks ‘St. Anthony’ for Finding a Lost Kitten
“You owe me one now,” the patron saint of lost things tells Howard
The Stern household had a scare earlier this week when one of the kittens they fostered escaped from their adoptive home. To help with the rescue effort, Howard turned to a higher power – St. Anthony. Howard said Beth has turned to the patron saint of lost things before and her prayers actually worked. “One time I lost my glasses in the ocean … she started praying to St. Anthony, I put my hand in the ocean and picked up my glasses,” Howard said on Wednesday of how his wife turned him into a believer.
The kitten was eventually found and “Anthony” himself called in to collect. “You owe me one now. No more jerking off to babysitter porn, enough already,” he told Howard in a thick New York accent. “Cut the shit, it’s a trade-off. I don’t want no more jerking off … I did you a favor and that’s it.”
The saint went on to insist Howard stop using his services. “Enough bitching and moaning,” he ordered. “I’m looking for food and starving kids, you know – I can’t look for cats.”
Listen to more of St. Anthony’s chat with Howard (below).