When a Stern Show caller phoned in on Wednesday looking for advice on having anal sex with his wife, he couldn’t have imagined he’d get insight from someone who has quite literally seen it all—veteran porn director Vic Lagina. “If a woman … or a man is nice enough to let you in that hole, which is a very delicate hole, there’s a chance there’s going to be a little surprise at the end. So, in order to maintain everyone’s good attitude about the thing, first off you should keep the lights dim—not off, because you’re not going to be able to see what you’re doing,” Lagina, who estimated he has about 2,000 adult films under his belt, said of the tricky sex move. “Once the act is complete, the first rule is you don’t look down after you pull out … if she asks you … or he asks you, ‘Is everything okay?’ you say, ‘Yes honey, it was fine. You’re perfect, you are an anal queen.’”

Unfortunately, in Vic’s storied career, not everything has always gone so smoothly on set. “I don’t think anyone ever forgets when they see their first prolapsed anus—it’s very jarring,” he admitted to Howard as being one of the worst incidents he’s seen in his career. “That’s about the worst it can be and it’s common with someone who does have a lot of anal sex—especially with large penises.”

“Boy, you’ve got to have a strong constitution in that business,” Robin observed with a laugh.

“I guess that’s why they call it show business,” Howard jokingly added. “The show’s got to go on.”

Having left the adult industry since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic due to industry changes, Vic insisted he never experienced arousal while on the clock. “It was technical,” he said matter-of-factly. “Like, I’m looking at my viewfinder for focus, I’m looking at exposure, I’m looking at composition, I’m not looking at the sex acts, so it was a very professional kind of situation.”

Despite his many years working in the biz, the skin game was not Vic’s original goal. “I have two useless degrees in film production—a master’s and a bachelor’s,” he noted. “It was a situation where I was living in Los Angeles trying to get regular projects off the ground and invariably, I got into debt and then, you know, you just kind of gravitate towards that business.”

Once Lagina became established, it was hard to make a pivot out of the business. “It became like this inadvertent snowball of success where I was like, I can’t walk away … this was not money that I was easily going to get doing any other thing, so I stuck with it a lot longer than I probably wanted to,” the director admitted to Howard. “I did definitely pay the price in some ways mentally because there’s some things you have to kind of compartmentalize when you’re dealing with this. But now that I’m out, I’m gravitating more back to more mainstream production.”

Expanding on that compartmentalization, Vic was blunt. “You have to kind of just look past the human element of things,” he revealed before talking about working with talent. “If you’re there trying to get a job done, they’re there to do a job that sometimes they might not want to be [at], and, you kind of just have to be the glue that holds the entire shoot together so everyone gets the job done and everyone gets paid.”

Though he’s never been hit with rogue ejaculation, Vic did open up about another occupational hazard—getting squirted on. “I’m a big fan of open-toed shoes like flip-flops and I have gotten squirt on my feet before,” he said before giving his opinion on the Stern Show’s oft-discussed squirt debate. “If you’re looking at it in terms of a fluid going into your body and coming out, I lean towards the pee thing but there’s people who will argue that until the end of time.”