Pamela Anderson Is an Open Book About Playboy Mansion Parties, Falling In and Out of Love, and Taking Control of Her Own Story

Her new memoir "Love, Pamela" hits stores next week

January 25, 2023

She’s long told stories written by others: from a slow-motion lifeguard on “Baywatch” to a buxom bounty hunter in “Barb Wire” to a 1920s murderess on Broadway in “Chicago.” But now Pamela Anderson is ready to tell her own story, in her own words. Her new memoir “Love, Pamela” is hitting store shelves next week and, as she told Howard on Wednesday morning, she wrote every word in it herself.

“I’ve always been a writer. I’ve always known I could write a book,” she said on air during her long-awaited return to the Stern Show.

Despite her confidence, Pamela found it challenging to convince others that she was up for the task, beginning with her book agent who strongly suggested using a ghost writer. “This was a massive battle,” she admitted.

And even after she wrote 60 pages of a proposal that impressed a publisher, nothing was guaranteed. “She went, ‘Okay, let’s give it a shot … but if you can’t come through, we’ll bring somebody in,’” Pamela recalled. “We had a deal that I could walk away, and they could walk away.”

Other than some help “shaping” the book, Pamela treated it mostly as a solo project — even down to the editing. “I learned how to edit myself,” she revealed.

It was a massive undertaking – the model even gained 25 pounds in the process which she lost once she finished the book. “It was crazy, but I had a physical reaction to telling my story,” she theorized. “It was almost like I was hanging onto something … it was some kind of protection.”


So what stories is Pamela telling in her new memoir? She’s starting at the very beginning – her traumatic childhood, her relationship with her parents, and, of course, her journey in becoming a household name. It was after Pamela was discovered by Labatt Brewing Company at a Canadian Football League game in 1989 that she landed her first Playboy magazine cover — the first of a record 13. Despite all the glitz and glamour, however, the model managed to hold on closely to her small-town roots.

“My first day at the Playboy Mansion I was in my acid wash jeans and some rock t-shirt with my sneakers on with the little balls on the socks and they were like, ‘You know, you can come to the Playboy Mansion closet and get dressed for the next time you come out,’” she recalled to Howard. “I thought, ‘Well, what kind of clothes would be in the Playboy Mansion closet?’”

In her rebellion, Pamela seemingly became an influencer. “[Friend and photographer] David LaChapelle used to say going to the Playboy Mansion was like ‘The Twilight Zone,’” she explained. “Like, he thought he saw a hundred of me from the back, and then they would turn around and not be me.”

But no matter how many times she appeared in the magazine, Pamela kept a certain distance, especially when it came to accommodations. “Even when I came here, the first thing they said was, ‘Well, you’ll stay at the Playboy Mansion,’ and I said, ‘No, I’ll stay at a hotel,’” the actress remembered insisting.

Even invitations to parties were sometimes met with a bit of apprehension. “They would call me and say, ‘Pamela, we want you to come for fight night’ and I’d say, ‘I’m not fighting anybody!,’” she noted. “They’re like, ‘Oh no, we’re just coming to watch like Mike Tyson fight on the big screen’ but I thought they wanted me to Jell-O wrestle or something.”


Though their marriage ended in divorce, Pamela seemingly has no regrets about her whirlwind romance and relationship with Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, whom she married after just four days of courtship. In fact, she claims he is the only man she has ever loved. “I had two beautiful boys with him … and it was really a heightened kind of romantic beginning and that’s every girl’s fantasy — to be worshipped like that,” she said. “I always felt like romantic love might not be sustainable, so if you want to have that kind of love affair, it’s just going to have a season, you know, it’s not going to last forever.”

When the couple ended things in 1998, Pamela found companionship with others, but nothing as deep as she felt she once had. “I don’t think I ever gave myself a chance to have another relationship after that that was of any value, you know, it was more like trying to put a family unit back together, but I wasn’t really in love,” she admitted. “I just was going through the motions and then realizing … there’s just nothing like I had with Tommy … I was putting people in my life to kind of numb some of the pain and be with someone … but nothing healthy.”

In some cases, Pamela discovered she was with the wrong person when it was just a little too late. Like Kid Rock. Howard wondered when exactly Pamela realized he wasn’t the right man for her. “Right when I got married,” she said with a laugh. “I just jump into something because, you know, Tommy and I did, and we had this incredible connection. But then you jump into something and it’s like, ‘Oh, it’s not this incredible connection, it’s just something else. Then I slowly try to make my way out.”

The star is currently single and quite content. “This last year I’ve been alone, and it’s been a really incredible year for me,” she revealed to Howard. “Just kind of going through, looking back, and reflecting on everything … it’s been good. I mean, like you have to be able to be alone too before you can be with somebody else, so I feel like I’m just kind of growing up right now. It’s taken a long time.”


When the infamous sex tape between Pamela and Tommy was stolen and eventually made for sale, it’s no secret the disturbance it caused, especially for the “Baywatch” star. “It wasn’t a positive thing. It definitely took its toll on the relationship, it took its toll on my career, and people are still capitalizing off that,” she confirmed to Howard.

So when the Seth Rogen-produced miniseries “Pam & Tommy,” which tells the supposed story of how that private tape got stolen, came out out in early 2022, Pamela was less than pleased. “I felt kind of run over with that one,” she told Howard. “I don’t think they really portrayed Tommy or [me] positively … I’ve only heard that it was a very shallow kind of representation of us at that time … I wish they would have called.”

While she probably would not have participated in the project even if she had been asked, Pamela has been more open to telling her story, with a little help from her children, Brandon and Dylan. “Brandon’s the one who produced the documentary [Netflix’s ‘Pamela, a Love Story’]. He was like, ‘Mom, you just need to tell your story because I just want to make sure that you get to tell your story, like write this book,” she recalled her eldest son saying. “And the documentary, I just said, ‘Here, I haven’t killed anybody, here’s the keys to my archives and you can read my diaries, everything — let’s just let it all out.”  

LOVE FOR mom and dad

As for Tommy, he’s since remarried — and Pamela couldn’t be happier. “He’s married and happy and she’s good to him and I totally support that and think that’s great,” she explained. “I respect their relationship and just glad he’s happy and he has somebody in his life.”

Both Brandon and Dylan have good relationships with their father and, as Pamela sees it, the new documentary is a tribute to both of them. “I think this movie too is kind of like a love letter to their parents,” the actress noted. “They know they come from true love, they want people to see the real story, and I thought that was kind of cute and kind of charming … Brandon is very artistic and really wanted to show the story from a real, true, authentic perspective.”

And from Pamela’s perspective, she seemingly has zero regrets. “It was more good times than bad, and I wouldn’t do it any other way,” she admitted. “It was just this wild, wild ride and I made it home in one piece. I came back to the place I grew up in. I bought the house of my grandmother and I’m living in it and looking at my life from the same place my feet touched the ground when I was a baby … I look at it all like a movie.”

Pamela Anderson’s memoir “Love, Pamela” is available Jan. 31. Her new Netflix documentary “Pamela, a Love Story” will stream on Netflix on Tuesday.