Mitt Romney Is Having a Bad Day

January 21, 2013

“Mitt Romney” called in to mark inauguration day, a day he’s sure we’ll regret: “After another four years of Obama, I predict we’re going to be eating watermelon, Cheetos and grape soda by executive decree.” If he’d won, today would’ve started on a much different foot: “First of all, I’d bang the hell out of that Lindsay Lohan.”