Bigfoot Says He Has Developed a Remarkable Superpower

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Bigfoot may have a problem with squatters at his Vermont house, but there’s no question whose home it is when he answers the phone.

Shuli Egar recently phoned to check up on the Wack Packer and his call was answered with a cheery “Bigfoot’s residence,” a greeting used both by Bigfoot and his squatters, according to the Stern Show staffer.

“You’d think you had called a mansion,” Robin noted with a laugh.

Despite efforts to evict the squatters, it seems Bigfoot has come to terms with their presence and he interrupted the call to ask one named Lucian to grab him a tissue for his runny nose.

The tissue paper from Lucian wouldn’t meet its end in Bigfoot’s nose, either.

“You mentioned that sometimes you’ll use one of Lucian’s snotty tissues out of the trash to wipe your ass?” Shuli questioned.

“Yes, yes I do. I’m trying to be asservative [sic],” Bigfoot replied.

As Wolfie’s Embedded special uncovered, toilet paper is treated as currency in the home and when it runs low, other items are used instead.

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Health-wise, the Wack Packer told Shuli he is doing fine and recently applied for a medical marijuana card. He also said he’s discovered a useful superpower.

“I got like ESP going on. Before something happens, I realize what’s going to happen before it happens,” Bigfoot explained.

Moreover, he has a new idea to make a few extra dollars. “[Howard] should put me in the eating contest and I probably could win all kinds of money,” he proposed.