Mike Pearlman’s 5 Rules for Making Sure Ronnie Mund Doesn’t Get Angry

From bagel tampering to body image issues, here are the topics to avoid

March 31, 2022

When Ronnie Mund is in a good mood, he’s the life of the party. When Howard’s longtime limo driver gets angry, however, it’s an altogether different story. Unfortunately, keeping Ronnie happy isn’t always as easy as it sounds, so on Tuesday—as Sternthology celebrates Mund Madness week—Ronnie’s colleague Mike Pearlman unveiled his rulebook for making sure Ronnie doesn’t get angry.

1. Never Call Ronnie Ugly

In 2012, a software developer came into the studio to talk about his Ugly Meter App, which supposedly measured a person’s attractiveness. Unfortuntaely for Ronnie, the app rated him a zero. The limo driver wasn’t hearing it, however, so he flipped out at the app’s inventor and everyone who rated higher than he did.

2. Never Question Ronnie Body Image

As fans will no doubt remember, Ronnie got caught in 2018 using a digitally altered press photo for his promotional appearances. The aging limo driver’s head was Photoshopped onto actor Dean Cain’s chiseled body. Instead of coming clean about the misdirect, Ronnie doubled down. He insisted he wasn’t the person behind the head swap and got angry at co-workers who suggested otherwise.

3. Never Question Ronnie’s Choice of Breakfast Cereals

Caller Apples had no idea what he was in for last year when he phoned in to comment on the box of Lucky Charms he spotted in the background of one of Ronnie’s fiancée Stephanie’s Instagram posts. As Ronnie saw it, there was no reason to discuss his cereal preferences on air. “I eat Special K, that’s what I eat,” Ronnie said before flipping his lid.

4. Never Put Ronnie in Charge of Food

In 2010, staffer Jason Kaplan called Ronnie out for how he split up some free cookies meant for the entire back office. Some staffers suggested he was handing the cookies out to the most attractive employees he could find, but a red-faced Ronnie angrily denied it. “I’m trying to be a nice fucking guy. Fucking Jason can shove them up his ass. He can have them all,” the limo driver said.

5. Never Mess With Ronnie’s Food

Ronnie’s food issues continued in 2019 when Pearlman and Ronnie got into an on-air blowout after the limo driver accused his colleague of messing with his bagel behind his back. Mike denied fiddling with his co-worker’s food and no evidence to the contrary has ever been brought forward, but to this day Ronnie still doesn’t believe him.

Tune into Sternthology this week for more Mund Madness.

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