The Gangster Of Love Gets Catfished
Anyone who listened to the show last week will remember the discussion around a wildly beautiful girl who had been contacting Stern Show writer Memet Walker online – and whom Memet consequently sent a photo of his dick to in the midst of pages of dirty discussions ("They goaded me into just saying the most vile shit").
Well, it turns out, after some digging by our crack research team, Memet found out that the "woman" was not who she seemed.
"I really didn't think I was this stupid," Memet lamented. Though he still maintained that this person had to have spent years creating the fake profile as it has a lot of backstory and history online.
While we don't know who the mystery (wo)man is yet, Memet is just hoping it isn't Captain Janks … or anyone who listens to the show frankly as they now have some … personal information about him.
"You got so f-cking scammed dude," Howard chided. But if there is one saving grace of the whole situation, it's that Ronnie of all people talked Memet out of taking a bus three hours upstate to meet this person.
"He was really close to getting on that bus," Ronnie recounted. And if he had, there's no telling what could have happened or whom he could have met.
Howard also questioned Memet about the dick pic he sent. Memet explained that he took the photo from above as the bottom of the penis "is extra ugly." So if you're going to do it, might as well do it right.
"If this could happen to Memet, this could happen to anyone … if you're retarded," Howard concluded.
Catching Up With The Wack Pack
The Wack Pack's own Mick the Nerd called in babbling about a guy named George who called him and was upset about comments Mick made about "Star Wars" on the air when J.J. Abrams came in. When Howard asked who George was, Mick said it was George Lucas of course and that though Lucas asked him to endorse "The Force Awakens" to repay him for the comments, Mick insisted that he couldn't endorse or not endorse as he hasn't seen it yet.
Howard said it sounds like Mick is getting messed with by Sal or someone and Sal came in and admitted it was him … but that he was really with George Lucas. Yeah …
Robin wondered if Mick really thought he was talking to George Lucas still.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Howard she's met Memet a couple of times and that "he looks like a 16-year-old boy." But "someone's got to keep tabs on him," she pleaded, worried that he is sending pictures around.
King of All Blacks, meanwhile, was more concerned with Nick Cannon's appearance last week. He said that he saw "Chi-Raq" and it was a good movie, except for two things: An iconic camera technique that Robin said Spike is known for (but King was opposed to) and Nick Cannon.
"I love Nick Cannon, but he can't pull off that thug stuff … When he tries to act like a thug – yo, that shit is crazy!" he insisted.
King also weighed in on Howard's future. "You should really retire man. You've done it all. And don't worry about people living off your coat."
Jeff The Drunk's LA Event Goes Of f The Rails
For the past month, you've been hearing about Jeff the Drunk's live event in LA and today we heard the recordings of what exactly went on. Keith, our man on the ground at Jeff the Drunk's primetime live event, called in to report on what exactly happened.
To begin with, Keith witnessed Jeff being wheelchaired through the airport as a result of him refusing to walk. His bag came out on the carousel and made 8 rounds before Jeff recognized it. He also refrained from showering for two days beforehand and was sweating profusely.
Fast-forward to the event and Jeff both arrived 20 minutes late and ended 40 minutes early – broken up by his smoke break in the middle of the event as well. Two different people asked for a refund ten minutes into the live show.
"I'm telling you, everybody that was there had a good time," he maintained. Keith's post-show interviews with those in attendance said otherwise.
Wendy The Slow Adult's Dumpster Tales
Our friend Wendy the Slow Adult called in later in the morning to elaborate on earlier reports that she had gotten stuck in a dumpster while diving in for food.
Wendy told Howard that she slipped in and was unable to get out for over an hour, until a homeless man heard her screams and saved her. From the smells to rats and her own bodily fluids, things got bad in that dumpster.
As a result, Wendy has vowed to only stick her arm into dumpsters going forward. "She's learned her lesson," Wack Pack correspondent Shuli Egar reported.
Michael Rapaport Is Victorious
Actor and Stern Show fantasy football league member Michael Rapaport called in on the heels of some major victories – most recently a squashing of his foe Gary Dell'Abate. Rapaport was upset that when he loses it played off like frontpage news and when he wins it gets "swept under the rug."
Either way, Rapaport made an exciting announcement that he also won his bet with Matthew Berry who, as a result, would be donating $5,000 to Bianca's Furry Friends Campaign.
Sal also premiered Michael latest song in honor of Gary, which was to the tune of Jay Z's "99 Problems" ("You've got 99 Problems and I'm every one").
Now that most of his taunting is directed at Gary, JD confirmed that he would "probably" be returning to the league next year despite considering otherwise.