Ham Hands Bill Wants Robin Quivers as His Temporary Nurse

“I’m asking Robin … to come after the show every day,” the one-time Robin song parody winner pleads

June 22, 2022
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Ham Hands Bill, the wheelchair-bound winner of a 1996 Robin Quivers song parody contest, phoned in Wednesday morning to reveal some sad news—he’s temporarily lost his longtime home aide due to her COVID-19 diagnosis. “It’s kind of a tragic situation in my house … She’s not going to be able to work … sounds like it could be a week,” he explained of Maria, who has been with him for over a decade. “I’ve been forced to take a male home attendant.”

Less than enthused about the prospect, Ham Hands had an alternative solution—hiring Robin, who prior to radio had a successful career as a nurse. “I’m asking Robin … to come after the show every day … to be my home attendant,” he pleaded of Howard’s longtime co-host.

“I happen to be busy, Bill, and I can’t come,” she responded.

Not one to give up, Ham Hands then suggested Robin send him some of her worn undergarments for a “COVID mask,” but that too was rejected. “I don’t have any … the laundry was just done,” she insisted.

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