Ronnie Mund Unknowingly Rates the Moms of His Stern Show Colleagues
“I’m looking at the picture … and I see Jason’s face,” Howard’s longtime limo driver saysMay 10, 2022
Ronnie Mund recently sat down with Sal Governale and rated the decades-old pictures of several different women. On Tuesday morning, Howard’s longtime limo driver learned he’d actually been taking part in a very special Mother’s Day-themed Stern Show segment.
“What you didn’t know was that all of these women were members of our staff’s mothers,” Howard told Ronnie, explaining to listeners that his longtime limo driver had unwittingly offered up candid (and often sexually explicit) assessments of the women Gary Dell’Abate, Jon Blitt, Wolfie, Mike Fox, Will Murray, Jason Kaplan, and Sal call mom.
“Oh Jesus. Are you kidding?” Ronnie responded before Howard played back his salacious evaluations.
Jason Kaplan’s Mom
Ronnie was off to a hot start rating colleague Jason Kaplan’s mom. “Amazing lips … She’s wearing a mini dress and her legs look good,” he said, adding, “She’s sexy in her own way … She wants to have a good time.”
“You can have a lot of fun with this girl,” Ronnie continued. “I would give her a 7 [out of 10].”
Present day Ronnie, who had the photos of each mother in front of him again, seemed mortified. “I’m looking at the picture [of Mrs. Kaplan] now and I see Jason’s face,” he said. “I wasn’t thinking about it in that way at that time, but now that I’m looking at it this is insane.”
Howard wondered how Jason felt after hearing Ronnie’s rating.
“It’s such a mixed bag,” Jason said, explaining he was both creeped out and grateful Ronnie had said nice things.
“You heard my review, dude. I’m not taking it back,” Ronnie laughed.
“She has that cutey pie face,” Ronnie had said of the next mother. “On a 1-to-10 scale, I’d give her a 6, but in bed I’d give her a 9.”
This time, Howard made Ronnie guess which mother he’d been rating. He was shocked to learn it was Wolfie’s. “I would never have guessed that,” he said.
Wolfie, meanwhile, was shocked by hearing Ronnie objectify his mom. “You feel nauseous,” he told Howard. “It’s like you just got hit in the stomach. It doesn’t sit well.”
Jon Blitt’s Mom
Ronnie was less complimentary of the next mother. “She’s trying too hard to look cool,” he said. “On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d probably give her 5.”
Looking at the picture again, he and co-host Robin Quivers both guessed they were looking at Gary’s mom. In actuality, it was Jon Blitt’s.
Blitt was disturbed by Ronnie’s unwillingness to give his mom a chance. He went so far as to say he’d fly Ronnie out to meet her if he’d be willing to give her another shot.
“I want Ronnie to have sex with her, please,” Jon said, assuring everyone his mother was actually a “wild animal” in the bedroom.
Sal Governale’s Mom
Ronnie got great vibes from the next mom, whom he described as “very matron-looking.” “I’ve found in my day that girls who look very Plane Jane are fun in bed. They aim to please,” he said. “I think she’d be up for anything, so my overall score would definitely be a 7.”
Howard then had present-day Ronnie look at the photo and guess which mom it was.
“Is that Sal’s mom?” Ronnie said.
“You are correct,” replied Sal, who said it wasn’t easy to sit with Ronnie and hear him objectify his mother. “I felt the blood leave my face,” he recalled. “I’m laughing on the outside, but on the inside I’m just crawling up into a little ball,” he continued, adding he wished Ronnie hadn’t been attracted to her so he wouldn’t have to hear the graphic descriptions of what the two would do together.
Will Murray’s Mom
Ronnie shared explicit fantasies about the next mom. “This chick is like the girl that went to the all-girl Catholic school, the type that as soon as she got out of school she’d get off the bus, she’d be in her little uniform, and we’d run to my fucking house, man, and we’d get at it right away,” he said, explaining he’d be eager to get in bed with her.
“This is the chick who does it all, I guarantee,” Ronnie continued. “I’d give her a 7.5 for the cuteness and the fun in bed.”
“Ronnie, you’re turning red,” Howard noted. “What’s going on?”
“I can tell that’s Will’s mother,” he responded. “I can see [the family resemblance].”
Howard brought Will onto the air to get his take on Ronnie’s assessment.
Will could barely believe it. “Apparently she gets off the bus and she’s waiting to be fingered,” the staffer said.
The Ronnie Puppet then chimed in, and not for the last time of the morning. “Your mom looks like she’d fuck me with a strap-on and she wouldn’t blink an eye,” the puppet told Will with a laugh.
Gary Dell’Abate’s Mom
Ronnie said the next mother had a sexy nose. “She could be a lot of fun, just the way she’s posing and trying to be innocent,” he said. “I don’t think she’s innocent at all, man.”
“She would be up for anything … I give her an 8,” he continued before correctly guessing it was Gary’s mom.
“It’s a weird thing because you want Ronnie to like your mom,” Gary said after hearing his colleague’s take. “I’m okay with what he said [because] he said what he would do with her, but he didn’t call her a flat-out whore.”
Gary was bothered on a different level, however. “My mom and I have the same face, let’s not kid ourselves,” he told Howard. “So, Ronnie wants to fuck that face. That weirds me out.”
“I think she would fuck for plantains,” the Ronnie Puppet joked.
Gary was just grateful his mom would never have to hear Ronnie’s sexually charged opinions. “Thank god she’s dead, though I don’t think that would stop Ronnie from trying to fuck her,” he joked.
Mike Fox’s Mom
“I think she’s pretty smoking hot,” Ronnie said of the next mom. “Back in the day, man, I’d love to do her. That’s for sure. This is the type of girl you’d have to date for a while. I think she’d be great wife material … And she could stare at you with those eyes.”
“On a scale of 1 to 10, sex wise and looks wise, I’d give her a 9,” he continued before correctly guessing he had been eyeing the fantastic Mrs. Fox.
Mike Fox was flabbergasted. “It was very quaint until it wasn’t,” the staffer said.
But Ronnie insisted his appraisal was gentlemanly. “Dude, I put my time in with her. I dated her, I married her, man, and now I’m going to fuck the shit out of her,” he joked.
“Why don’t you come out to Vegas, put on a wig, and I’ll take you out to dinner?” the Ronnie Puppet joked.
Mike Pearlman’s Mom
The next mom was a late addition to the lineup. As Howard explained it, Mike Pearlman had originally withdrawn her name after hearing what Ronnie had to say, but on Tuesday morning he changed his mind.
“I really didn’t care,” Pearlman said, explaining he’d scratched his mom from the competition because Ronnie insinuated she wasn’t very feminine but eventually had a change of heart.
Sure enough, Ronnie’s words weren’t very flattering. “It looks like she might have more fun with a girl,” he had said. “I would give her a 5.”
Blitt, for his part, imagined Ronnie could have fun with both his and Pearlman’s moms at the very same time. “What if we have a manage-a-trois and turn those two 5’s into a 10?” he joked.
“Go back to putting up pictures on Twitter,” Ronnie deadpanned.
Howard, meanwhile, saw the upside for Mike Pearlman’s mom. “Ronnie’s going to keep his hands off her,” he said. “I think that’s a good thing.”
2 “Moms” Make an Appearance
After Ronnie critiqued the staff’s moms, it was only fitting “Ronnie’s Mom” would swing by and make another appearance.
“When Ronnie was a little baby, he used to suck on a binky with his rosy-red asshole lips,” the foul-mouthed impersonator joked, adding, “His first words were ‘mommy’ and his next [ones] were ‘shove that dildo up my ass.’”
“Mrs. Mund” wasn’t the only mom who graced listeners with her presence, either. “Mrs. Pearlman” also came by to give her take on Ronnie’s rating.
“Hey, this is Gertrude Pearlman,” she said. “I wanted to tell Ronnie that just because I can bench 400 pounds doesn’t make me any less of a woman.”
She then turned her attention to her son. “I love you. What time you going to the gym today?” “Mrs. Pearlman” told Mike. “I might go at 7—I gotta do legs.”
Talking a little bit about how she raised the muscular staffer who infamously took a bullet and survived to tell the tale, “Mrs. Pearlman” revealed there may have been a few additives in his milk. “I used to feed him creatine and the other supplements,” she joked. “He was the strongest baby. He could beat the shit out of the other kindergarteners.”
Howard had heard enough. “What a home run,” he concluded as the Ronnie Ratings Staffers’ Moms theme song kicked in. “Happy Mother’s Day!”