Show Rundown: March 6, 2018
AUDIO: Memet Walker Suspects the I.Q. Tests Were ‘Rigged’ Before Results Are Even Read
AUDIO: Memet Walker Suspects the I.Q. Tests Were ‘Rigged’ Before Results Are Even Read
“I think there could have been shenanigans going on,” the Stern Show staffer tells Howard
Even though it was Memet Walker’s idea for him and fellow Stern Show staffer Brent Hatley to take I.Q. tests in the first place, on Tuesday morning he questioned the validity of the exams they were each given, going so far as to say the results were “rigged” even before Howard had a chance to read them aloud on the air.
“I’m going to accept it no matter how rigged you guys have made it,” Memet announced while in the studio.
Also in studio was Dr. David Sitt, a licensed clinical psychologist who administered not only Brent and Memet’s I.Q. tests but also handled all of the tests given to the Stern Show staff in 2010. Dr. Sitt uses the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale, or WAIS, to determine each staffer’s intelligence and assured Memet none of the results had been tampered with.
“This is the gold standard,” Dr. Sitt told Howard.
After totaling their scores, Dr. Sitt sealed Memet and Brent’s test results into two envelopes – the first envelope only included numbers but no names while the second envelope indicated who scored what.
“If I’m below a 115 it’s rigged,” Memet said, still skeptical. “Because everyone wants me to lose.”
Howard couldn’t understand why Memet would think the I.Q. tests were fake and reminded him he wouldn’t want to do this bit if the results weren’t real.
“I think there could have been shenanigans going on that you’re not even aware of,” Memet told him.
But would Memet still declare it a conspiracy if he bested Brent’s I.Q.? He told Howard if that were to happen, he’d consider the test results legitimate.
“If I win, I will win with grace and I will handle it very well,” Memet said.
Without further delay, Howard ripped open envelope No. 1. The anticipation was almost too much for Stern Show staffer Jason Kaplan. “Holy shit, it’s happening,” he said as Howard read the two results to himself. “I just got a chill.”
“This is the greatest result ever,” Howard said with a laugh, finally revealing the scores were 121 and 112, though he did not say which belonged to whom. The nine-point spread between Memet and Brent’s I.Q. scores meant JD Harmeyer had lost both of his bets with Gary Dell’Abate and Benjy Bronk since he predicted the gap between the two scores would be less than five points. The results also meant Will Murray would remain the most intelligent member of Howard’s staff since he scored a 130 in 2010.
Hearing the test totals made Memet even more suspicious. “I’m having an out-of-body experience right now. You all are fucking with me so bad,” he accused his co-workers.
The only thing left to do was announce who scored what. Howard held up the second envelope, asked Fred for some timpani drums, and announced once and for all who was the smarter Stern Show staffer between Brent and Memet.