He's mediated catfights between the fiercest of "Real Housewives," called out celebrities to their faces on "Watch What Happens: Live," and has opened up his private life to readers around the world with two critically acclaimed books – and yet this may have been his toughest test to date. We asked Andy Cohen to rank the men of the Howard Stern Show in order of sheer sexiness and today, the results are in. Check them out in descending order (below) along with Andy's comments about each staffer.
1. Will Murray
"He's simply the best looking of this group. He is very straight, might wear dockers, and I can fetishize that."
2. Fred Norris
"I've always had a thing for Fred and have always had a sneaking suspicion that he did something with a guy at his bachelor party."
3. Howard Stern
"I like Howard's height and would want him to talk dirty to me."
"I think Richard gets blackout and then lives by the 'hole is a hole' credo. I love a ginger and a country ging' may be even better."
"Sal is handsome and filthy: A winning combination!"
6. Jon Hein
"Jon's insistence that he doesn't masturbate makes me think he is an absolute freak."
"Getting fingered by a guy is the gateway to a universe of dude-on-dude sex and he seems desperate to get his girlfriend on 'Real Housewives of NYC' which means he is a prime candidate for something I am not even sure I want..."
The Bottom Five Are All Basically Tied...
8. Jason Kaplan
"I dunno. I like that he's Jewish?"
9. Scott Salem
"He almost did that porn with the guy so I like that he was willing to prostitute himself. That shows he has moxie."
10. Ronnie Mund
"Ronnie does get points for his unabashed sexual freedom."
11. JD Harmeyer
"I hate wishy washy anything. I like a MAN."
12. Gary Dell'Abate
"Gary seems like a very toothy brother-figure. Perhaps if he was my brother-IN-LAW he would rank higher."
**Though this list consists of current staff members, Andy also wanted to note that K.C. Armstrong would have won the competition hands down if he was still around. He'd also like to note that he's confused about Ralph Cirello's sexuality and wondered why he wasn't included in the options.**