THE BEST OF THE WEEK JUNE 22 – 26
The Howard Stern Show for June 26, 2009

HEATHER VANDEVEN WANTS USABLE INCHES
Heather Vandeven stopped by and immediately flashed Howard: "No panties. That's for you." Heather said she recently broke up with her boyfriend (despite his 9.5 "usable inches") because he was boring in the bedroom: "It was too vanilla. I needed a little more fetish."

Howard asked what she wanted her fantasy guy to be into, so Heather confessed that she liked to be dominated: "Take you and take you hard but also be sensual...it's about mentally f’ing me."



Heather told Howard he was her type - so much so that she thinks about him when she masturbates: "You are, for me, the kind of man that I like." Heather also revealed that she used to be in the Army ("I was voted hottest girl in basic training.") and then took off her top, which impressed Howard: "Oh wow. Those are perfect."

COULD HOWARD REALLY DATE HER?
After Heather left, Robin asked Howard if he could ever really date a girl like Heather. Howard replied: "If I was single...I get nervous with these girls who mess around with girls.

I get a little germaphobic...I am probably a little too vanilla for her...[but] I think I would like to date her if I was single. Yeah. I think I would."

Corky, Miss Howard Stern's ex-husband, called in to take issue with Ronnie for calling the new Camaro a "piece of shit" on his recent auto show. Ronnie came in to defend himself: "Check out the Challenger, that's a real retro car...This ain't Hot Rod magazine, pal. It's a f’ing auto show." Corky said Ronnie was such a pussy, he'd let Ronnie punch him as hard as he could: "Just to show you what a pussy he is."

After quizzing the two on car trivia and witnessing more than a few flare-ups, Howard decided that the two nemeses should face-off on Ronnie's next auto show. Ronnie was fine with the idea so long as Corky was just a "special guest."

On Monday’s Wrap Up Show, the guys were discussing who was planning on going to Las Vegas to help pick a future Miss HowardTV with Artie. The original list included JD, Ronnie, Doug Goodstein, Gange, Brian Phelan. Gary laughed that if they were going to film something at Jeff the Drunk’s house they would be fighting over who’d have to go – but since they were going to Ricks in Las Vegas, the whole Howard TV staff was going. Jim McClure noted that they sent one guy to cover the big Craptacular special and, since he was in the studio, Artie told Jim he’d pay for him to go to Vegas with them – and then invited Benjy as well. Artie also made it clear that he had “precautions in place” to keep from falling off the wagon while out there. Ronnie announced that Scott the Engineer had asked why he wasn’t invited – prompting Artie to invite Scott too. Ralph called in, and despite the fact that he said he didn’t want to go, Artie invited him as well. However, Artie drew the line at Lisa G, stating that they didn’t need a girl ruining things for them.

JASON ELLIS SAYS HE'S THE FUTURE OF RADIO
Pro skateboarder-turned-Sirius XM radio host Jason Ellis stopped by to promote his show on Faction(weekdays at 3 - 7pm ET on Sirius channel 28 and XM 52)and claimed he never got into skateboarding for the money: "I just said,'One day I'll be a pro skateboarder.'" Jason said he had a huge crush on Robin, but never called her because he was afraid their love might interfere with his self-proclaimed status as "the future of radio...people would think I just want to f’ Howard and not her."

Jason asked Howard to pass the flame and Howard thought he just might: "I'm ready to pass it." Jason also told the crew he used to be a vert skater - a "dying breed," as most kids are strictly devoted to street skating these days - once accidentally made out with an Asian transvestite and was molested as a kid: "I was like 4. My mom's babysitter made me blow him...when I watched Oprah, I was like,'Wow. I'm so glad nobody f’ed me when I was a kid.' Turns out he did."

HE ONLY MARRIES STRIPPERS
Jason laughed that both his first and second wives were strippers, and though he doesn't have an issue with his current wife giving lapdances, he did before: "The other one? The first one? That would bother me because if she'd had a couple drinks, she'd end up blowing the guy." Jason added: "She used to beat me up! [Then] she flipped out and beat me up again so I left."

JASON ELLIS ON ROLLERBLADERS
"If you are a man and you have fruitboots on, you are gay." Artie agreed.

WHICH IS WORSE: HEROIN OR SEX WITH CHYNA?
Jason told Artie that he also turned to heroin for a while and learned his lesson: "I was a trainwreck...I was always wasted all the time." He hit rock-bottom much later, however - when he had sex with Chyna: "There was an innocence...she's so scarred, I wanted to be with her...Then I tried to get her off me and she's really big up top. I mean, she's got big tits but she's jacked...She called me for two months afterwards. And I did give it to her good."

MEET SABRINA DEEP, THE BUKKAKE QUEEN
Howard welcomed the self-anointed 'Bukkake Queen,' Sabrina Deep, to the studio and told her he felt bad that she had to take 2700 loads to the face. Sabrina just shrugged: "I didn't do it because I don't like it." Asked if stinging eyes was a common occupational hazard in her line of work, Sabrina laughed: "It stings, yeah...but your eyes get used to it."

Sabrina also explained the difference between American bukkake and "traditional" bukkake in Japan, which does not involve blowjobs - just several men jerking off on the woman’s face ("I think traditionally it's punishment for Japanese women who get caught cheating on their husbands.") - and gokun, which is when guys cum in a bowl and she drinks it.

SHE BANGS AND BLOWS HER FANS
Sabrina told the crew that she usually lines up 25-50 fans for her "bukkake parties" - anyone can take part so long as they pass a round of STD tests: "I think the fans deserve it." Though she's done more than 50, she usually has to limit the festivities: "It's the knees that get worn down."

"I'M PRETTY OPEN TO SUGGESTION"
Sabrina said she also recently got into anal fisting while fingering her ass during a webcam-assisted fan chat: "Somebody said. 'One more finger' and then pretty soon...I'm pretty open to suggestion." Asked how it felt, Sabrina admitted she wasn't really into it: "It's more visual the fist thing. It's not like when you have a cock up your ass. That's more intense. It's almost too big."

FABIO & SABRINA HAVE RULES
Sabrina told the crew she had a boyfriend, Fabio, who condoned of all her crazy behavior - with just three rules: 1. No kissing. 2. Guys can't finger her (due to the potential of hangnail/cut-related issues) unless they trim, file and thoroughly wash their fingernails. 3. No scat play. Fabio then came in to say he was fine with Sabrina's lifestyle so long as he knew what she was doing. Sabrina laughed that Fabio was so innocent, he tried to book her on both “The Ellen Show” and “Regis & Kelly” when he heard they were coming to NYC.

A SYBIAN RIDE FOR THE BUKKAKE QUEEN
Before she left Sabrina asked to ride the Sybian: "It feels like I'm right up against a train with my clit up against it. Now it feels like a plane. Can I pinch my nipples?"



After she climaxed really loudly, she asked: "Should I be embarrassed?" Howard laughed: "Of everything you've told me? You should be least embarrassed [about that]...you guys should do this on Regis."